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COPING : LEYA'S STORY PT 6

Writer's picture: Brandy MenefeeBrandy Menefee

A MENTAL HEALTH STORYTELLING SERIES



“I do believe in a higher power. But one of the worst things people with faith can say to someone who's grieving is: ‘He's in a better place now.’ Or ‘God wanted that sweet angel for himself.’

 

They say it with the best intentions, but it’s not something anyone wants to hear. Especially when it comes to a child.


We are not built to watch our kids die. It happens, but no one can be emotionally capable or ready for it.

 

I was part of a 12 step program for eating disorders, and I was heavily into it when Matthew got sick. I remember I was at my goal weight. I was doing the best I'd done for a very long time with my weight and health issues.

 

I was telling someone in program what was going on with Matthew, and she said something that really, really stuck with me: ‘God doesn't strike kids with cancer. God doesn't kill people with cancer. God is there. Whatever higher power you believe in is there to help you get through when that person passes. So God is there for the people left behind.’

 

And I could get down with that. Because how could I ever believe in a God who took that angel from me? That is disgusting and merciless. So for me, I make the choice to think of it as my higher powers helping me through the loss of Matthew.

 

But it’s also self-preservation. For me, the idea of Heaven has nothing to do with religion. It's survival. I have to believe I'm going to see him again. And when it comes to my own mortality, I have to be brave. I tell myself, ‘Matthew passed. You can too.’”

 

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