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COPING : LEYA'S STORY PT 10

Writer's picture: Brandy MenefeeBrandy Menefee

A MENTAL HEALTH STORYTELLING SERIES



“I love making people feel good, but after Matthew died, I couldn't imagine how I was going to do that again. It didn't feel possible. Because somebody turned out the lights in my heart, you know?

 

I get peeks of it now then. But I'm not the same person. And I don't know if I'll ever be exactly the same person that I'd like to be again.

 

I do not see the world the same as I used to. I was a very glass-half-full kind of person, and I am no longer glass-half-full. I'm not saying it’s never going to happen. I would actually like to be that person again. But I'm not yet. And I’ve got to come to a place of acceptance with that, which has been really hard to do.

 

Talking about my grief is my way of making it easier for myself – because it's a very lonely, isolating thing.

There is also something about the reality of my sadness that has been beneficial for my friendships. And beneficial for other people going through trauma or going through loss.

 

I see people differently. My empathy has cast a wider net. Because it's like, shit's fucking hard. It's just hard. And as much as we know we're going to say goodbye to people, places, and things we love – you can't ever really be prepared for it. There's no way.”

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