"Our son was born with a sacral dimple, which is a hole in the spine. A month after his birth, we discovered a huge hole in his heart and he eventually needed open-heart surgery. Then he had an intense dairy allergy. I went from eating so much dairy when I was pregnant to suddenly having to completely cut out all dairy from my diet. I was reading every label and asking for the ingredients in the McDonald’s drive-thru. If I had a drop of butter, my baby would be in excruciating pain and cry for hours.
And I’d cry with him because I did this to my son. It’s all my fault.
There were big plans to breastfeed, but he would never latch – so for every feeding, I had to pump into a bottle and then feed him by bottle. It was double work every time.
I was making these diet modifications and then doing all this extra work to feed him. It was super hard. When my maternity leave was up and I went back to work as an ER nurse, it was a lot. It is HARD to get a break at work to pump. I was like, I can’t do this anymore."