BONNIE : COMING CLEAN pt 5

5/8



"I was raised in the Bible Belt in Dallas, Texas for the first 22 years of my life. I went to church 13,720 times. I went Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and then chapel every day during school from 4th through 12th grade, and for four years at Abilene Christian University. I can say all the books of the Bible. I can say all the tribes of Israel in birth order. When I moved out to Los Angeles, I figured out I was gay.


I then discovered there is no amount of tequila that can make those two things fit together. They just won't.

My gay story is very wrapped up in my alcoholic story. You can't really tell one without the other. The alcohol and drugs were definitely my way of coping. And avoidance – just kicking the ball down the street a little farther, not ready to deal, not ready to deal, not ready to deal. That was 18 years ago. No more tequila for me. I've had to figure out another way.


I go to my AA meeting every week, and I'm sitting in it a couple of years ago, and one of the ladies is talking about how she has not been honest with her teenage son about being an alcoholic, and he's found out. He's found out this is where Mom's been going on Tuesday nights all these years. He's really pissed off at her. He doesn't understand why she's been dishonest with him. Is it something to be ashamed of? He doesn't understand. She's sharing this with us, and she's like, 'I don't know why I did it' and I related on every level. I remember thinking, I'm so glad I'm in this room. My life is going to go better because I'm in this room.


Maggie was still in diapers. I come home after my meeting that night, I go in to change Maggie's diaper, and I get right in her face: 'Honey, Mamma’s an alcoholic. I'm going to tell you my story.'"


5/8

10 views0 comments