“I ticked all the boxes. My genes and my habits and my environment got me. I struggled to fend off the beast, but I wasn’t making a lot of progress.
I lived in a perpetual state of anxiety, fear, and doubt.
Self-medicating is an incredibly elementary coping mechanism and was only adding to the problems.
I don’t know if I bottomed out per se, because superficially I live a rather charmed life. But I started to make changes and deal with my illness head on. Slowly I began to make better choices to prioritize my body and my health. It wasn’t a 180 degree turn around, and I have to deal with myself every minute of the day.
I got help. I started to learn about my illness – dos and don'ts. I made lifestyle changes. I slowly weaned myself off booze without AA. I go to bed early at a regular time. I recognize warning signs and mood flux. I have a partner who is supportive, feeds me good food, and I get lots of exercise. I take meds. Anyone who says it can be tamed without them is either lying or ignorant or both. I have a therapist. I have top notch health insurance. Part of my investment in myself is a natural reaction to ageing, but another part is the acknowledgement that I need all the help I can get.”