“I had been doing therapy for two years, but I felt like I just wasn’t getting much out of it. So I started recording myself talking about my issues.
If I'm ever feeling a way that week, I just record myself in Photobooth. I do it like I'm recording a YouTube video, but I'm talking about more personal things. And then later, when I'm in a clear mindset, I go back and watch those videos and analyze my emotions.
When I watch back the videos, I see a lot of pain. My facial expressions – it’s sad seeing myself like that. I try to dissect why I feel that way. I'll write down the question, ‘Why do you feel that way?’ And then take a moment to really think about it and write my answer. And continue questioning: ‘Does it stem from somewhere? Why did it stem from there?’ I’ll read it all back to myself and ask, ‘Does it make logical sense to feel that way about yourself?’
Watching the videos later when you're logical and clear headed, you think about WHY you felt those emotions and can figure out WHAT you need to do to fix those issues.
For me, recording myself and analyzing my emotions has helped me more than therapy.
When I first started watching the recordings, I would see me being super harsh and calling myself dumb. And over time I feel like I’ve changed the tone I talk to myself in. I'm still really hard on myself – I feel like I always will be – but now I give myself a little more grace and I'm more forgiving of myself.”